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Writer's pictureKiki Judith

To the Girl Stuck in Survival Mode: This, Too, Shall Pass



Introduction

I've been feeling very isolated recently and being in a two week mandatory self-quarantine has only allowed this feeling to grow. When I returned to America, I planned on going to a festival with a lot of my friends from high school. It would be the last time I would see most of them and, unfortunately, that event was cancelled. I am left, unsure of what to do now that there won't be a festival. I also planned on getting a job to save up for college and to find a new car since my brother will be getting mine. However, it doesn't look like I will be getting a job any time soon and the car that will be my brother's is still at the mechanics because I'm not able to leave to pick it up. I can't even leave the house for a solitary drive if I wanted to. This is most certainly not what I had in mind when I thought of my last few months at home. I thought I would be planning a summer road trip and driving to a job that followed all of the labour laws. I thought I would have this overflowing confidence because I was finally where I had been working so hard to get to. I thought all of my chronic illness and mental illness stuff would be easy to manage and understand, not more complicated than before. I thought I would be about to graduate with an IB diploma. But, no. I have zero confidence and plenty of health problems. I graduated early without an IB diploma and don't even have a job. The summer road trip I planned on happening for four years isn't even a consideration. At no point in time did I even consider the possibility that things wouldn't turn out how I thought they would. My life has been turned upside down by things I have no control over or influence on.


Nothing Left to Do

When there's nothing I can do to change the situation, I naturally isolate myself in search of a solution—any solution. Sometimes I find one. Other times I give up and sulk. In Austria, I learned that I don't need to wring myself out over questions I will never have answers to and problems that I can never find solutions for. That's just wasting my limited time and energy. I spend too much time living in between chaos and insanity to begin with. Why should I make it harder on myself?


When there's nothing I can do, the only thing left to do is turn to God—even when surrounded by doubt and pain.

I honestly can't believe I'm writing this because I haven't written about God in so long, but I feel like I should. By writing this, I am in no way implying that I am holier than thou or that I have any of the answers. I have none of the answers. I'm also not going to pretend like my faith is so much better than yours because it's not. It's been messy, more than anything, messy. There's been nothing I can do to change the situation for so long. If I'm honest, I tried everything before I even considered turning to God.


This, too, shall pass

Recently, I have been reminded of some older hymns and phrases. But, the one I am being constantly reminded of is the phrase, "This, too, shall pass." To me, at least, there is something comforting in knowing that the world will keep on turning even after something terrible. While I was in Austria, I had the opportunity to meet and listen to the stories of many people who most others would call victims. It is not my place to share their stories. However, there was something all of them had in common, they were survivors. They are all the kind of people who sing and dance with knives. I know this is not a phrase. It's not meant to be. It's both literal and figurative. They celebrate with an object that most people fear just like they don't let traumatic experiences interrupt their dreams or lives. What I mean is that these people didn't let their hardships ruin their lives. They kept on moving forward the best they could. By now, all of these things have passed. This doesn't mean that it's been an easy road since their trauma. This doesn't mean that there weren't any other difficult experiences after they survived that one situation. It just means that all of the terrible things they went through were just that, terrible things they went through. This isn't to belittle their experiences, but to praise their strength and wisdom. What this means for us is that all of the difficult and traumatic experiences that you and I are going through right now, will one day pass. There will be a vaccine that can prevent the Corona Virus. We will not live in isolation forever. Most importantly, though, this pandemic does not define us. Being stuck in survival mode doesn't mean we can't have a little fun on the side. No matter how many challenging things you are experiencing, right now, none of will last forever (even if it feels like it). In all of this mess, there is one thing that does define me in all of the chaos. It is God calling out for me and saying, "This, too, shall pass."


The Future

One day, we will look back on the time a pandemic happened. We'll remember the people we lost fondly, and, still, appreciate how it united us all. We'll look back at the economic difficulties and also notice how social distancing and isolation were beneficial for the environment. We'll remember how exhausting and frustrating it was to stay put in our houses for so long, but we will be comforted by the fact that it is over. This pandemic will be just another one to join the list of outbreaks in a history textbook. It will become just another story that parents tell their kids to scare them into washing their hands. This is not the beginning of the end or some sort of crazy warning sign for the apocalypse. It's just a part of life and we'll survive, just like we always do.

Even now, you and I can look back to all of the things we never thought we would get through in our own lives and appreciate how strong we were to survive. We certainly aren't invincible but this terrible anxiety of the unknown is not the end of the world. There's always something to be anxious about. Plus, if anything is going to kill us, it'll be the fact that there's no food in the grocery stores. Just kidding, that's a little morbid. Moving on. My point is that now is the time to turn to whatever it is that comforts you instead of turning to the conspiracy theories or fake news (for lack of a better word). Of course, it's important to stay up to date with the information about the virus wherever you live but there is no need to be obsessed and check the facts every ten minutes. You can control how much you let the anxiety get to you. In the future, you will be grateful that you learned how to control the things that you can instead of trying to control the things that you can't. I promise.


Things to Do While in Quarantine or Social Distancing

In the mood of taking a break from the serious stuff, I thought I would share ideas that will help keep you from going stir crazy or distract you from the stress of the pandemic. All of these activities are low cost, as usual, to allow for the most accessibility as possible. Skip to the end of this section for a tl;dr.


1. Take a free (college level) course on EdX or Coursera - I am currently learning Korean with First Step Korean on Coursera

2. If you've been wanting to get a certification to increase your hireability, what better time than when you have unlimited time? I am getting a TEFL certification with i-to-i. The course was on sale when I purchased it. Most courses are hundreds of dollars but I purchased mine for 99 dollars. This certification will give me the opportunity to work online or in other countries much more easily. Some other helpful certifications you can easily get online are CPR and first aid, or coding with Python. Many other online schools have a large variety of certifications.

3. Learn to play guitar, piano, or ukulele with Yousician. The free option for Yousician only includes 10 minutes of lesson time per day. While that isn't a lot, it's still very helpful. The youtubers Dylan Laine, Elise Ecklund, The Ukulele Teacher, and Justin Guitar are all really great places to start if you aren't sure where to start. Check out this website to learn more about music theory in general.

4. Is there a book you've been dying to read? If your library district includes ebooks, you can use Overdrive or Libby to get access to tons of books and audiobooks for free.

5. Give yourself a spa day! The challenging part is that you can only use what you already own. If you collect nail polish, lotion, and fancy bath salts, then this will definitely be perfect for you. Do things you normally wouldn't do when pampering yourself. If you've been dying to try taking a bath in a room lit only by candles with the bath bomb you promised yourself you would use a year ago, try that. It'll be fun, relaxing, and a little time consuming. If you don't as many spa type things, you can make your own. Pinterest has plenty of tutorials and diys for spa days with regular staples everyone has. Make yourself a face mask and hair mask for an extra luxurious experience! Play free spa music and pretend like you're at a fancy spa hotel. The options are endless.

6. Attend the MET Opera for free! Get dressed up to watch the live performance of a lifetime.

7. There are plenty of podcasts to binge while spring cleaning or making dinner. Some of my favorites include Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Stuff Your Mom Never Told You, Stuff You Missed in History Class, Stuff You Should Know, Meditative Story, The History Chicks, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Real Talk with Rachel Luna, Style Your Mind, and Sick.

8. Are there emails you need to write or school you should catch up on? Don't use quarantine as an excuse to stop being productive.

9. Use House Party, Skype, SnapChat, Whatsapp, Line, and/or Marco Polo to stay in touch with your loved ones no matter where you are.

10. Do an intensive language self-study for as many days as you want and for (mostly) free. Switch your phone's language into the language you're studying. Listen to music and watch tv only in that language for a set amount of time. Study specifics with apps like Duolingo, Memrise, Beelinguapp, Lirica, Drops, and Mondly. Connect with someone else with HelloTalk or Tandem. During this intensive, keep a journal or diary in the language you're studying. Use it to answer journal prompts or talk about what you've learned and practice it. Create a completely immersive environment without leaving your own home. Write down vocab words on sticky notes and stick them on whatever they mean. For example, to remember the word mirror, write down the mirror on a sticky note and put it on the mirror you use most often. Every time you look in the mirror, read the sticky note. If you want to get really serious, challenge yourself to cook a meal that a native speaker of whatever language you're learning might eat. Remember, it's important to learn about the cultures behind the languages, too.


If you want some more ideas or the tl;dr, check out my Finding Peace in Quarantine Printable located in my free resource library! I think it's a super cute way to visualize some of the things you are able to do while trapped in isolation.


The Challenge

Today, I am challenging you to resist the urge to stress and worry unnecessarily. You should still stay safe and responsible. Though, instead of letting yourself spiral into a Corona Virus related depression or anxiety attack, call a friend or finally learn to play guitar. Keep on connecting with people. Perhaps, try not to connect over the stress-hoarding and connect over the more normal parts of your situation, whatever it may be. Life goes on in the midst of craziness. The craziness doesn't have to take over your life. I am officially challenging you to keep the craziness from taking over your life. You may not be in control of the Corona Virus, but you can control how you respond to it. You can control your sanity (and the cleanliness of your house and yourself). You can still control how you spend your time while you are trapped in your house. Don't lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel for this, too, shall pass.

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