M Y R E V I E W :
Wow! I could never have the right words to describe the amazing mess of this book! Shelley is completely honest and authentic with her struggle and it is such a beautiful thing. If you are struggling in your season of singleness, I highly recommend this book. If you aren't, I still highly recommend this book. Whatever season you are in right now, you will learn so much from Shelley. Imagine this. You're having a coffee with someone who wants to hang out but also give you some really important and helpful information. That's what this book is. It's a calming and relaxing way to enjoy yourself. I don't think you'll need any more than that, haha!
T H E I N T E R V I E W :
How has your season of singleness impacted your life and your relationship with God, currently? Being that I am in my early thirties and still single, though many or most of you reading this won’t have to wait quite so long, being single has been cornerstone to my journey in knowing God for myself. I grew up in a Christian family, actually a pastor’s kid, so I never knew a day without the reality of God in my life. This is a rich heritage, of course, but one that I took for granted for too long by walking in the faith that my parents had in a God that they knew but I didn’t really know for myself. Also knowing that my standard for a husband is founded on him having a rich relationship with God, I am ever thankful that I didn’t go from living out of my parent’s faith to then living out of my husband’s faith. It’s easy to pull on the strengths in someone else, and there are times and seasons for that, but what strength comes when we press to know Him for ourselves and cultivate our own relationship together. Would I have hoped to be this “old” and still single? Not a chance. But now that I realize the depth of what I have gained in knowing Christ for myself, I can’t say I’d do it again a different way. You talk a lot about purpose in this book so after realizing that your purpose wasn't tied up to your dream of marriage, how did you reach the point where you truly believed in your purpose of knowing God? How did you truly reach the point of savoring your singleness? I encountered God in a very real way during a prayer meeting at church during an extended time of prayer and fasting. It’s crazy to think that your whole life can change in one service, but mine absolutely did. One moment in His presence can truly change everything. I didn’t even know that was what I was on my knees crying out for, I just wanted more of Him. In that moment, He moved in my heart and my entire perspective changed. I heard and saw in the same moment and knew what He was asking of me. Everything. And when I said, “Yes” He brought a freedom and a joy I hadn’t known before. I literally got up from my knees in prayer that night a different person. What was the first time you felt like you were truly content with your singleness? I could piggy back on the question before, but what happens in our encounters with God must be walked out with diligence and obedience. As a result of that night, instead of fixating on my hopes for a beau, I began to pray and ask God for the dreams He wanted to dream through me. Reality hit that my heart had changed when I opened my Facebook (this was before I had an Instagram) and saw not just an engagement but a baby announcement from two different friends. My heart was no longer sad. I didn’t feel left out. I wasn’t aching at what I didn’t have but was genuinely excited for both of them! That’s not something I could have done on my own. That’s a change of heart by encountering Him that night. Have you ever struggled with your desire to get married, now? If yes, how do you deal with that? What do you do to focus on God again? When you truly submit to God in an area, trust takes the place that struggle once held onto tightly. Many say “the struggle is real” but it doesn’t have to be. Do I still desire to get married? Yes. And I believe that the desires in my heart are from my loving Father and so I can trust that He is faithful to keep that which is entrusted to Him (from 2 Timothy 1:12). So long as I leave it in His capable and loving hands, I need not worry about it anymore. But since this probably isn’t where many of you are at, as I wasn’t for far too long, I’ll be real with you that the pity party is easy. The down days and “woe is me” is default. It’s also wildly destructive. Anytime we get self-centered or in doubt, our thoughts and emotions become a murky pond where life cannot dwell. Remind yourself of His Word. Remind yourself of His promises. Remind yourself of His goodness. Remind yourself of the Cross of Jesus Christ. It’s hard to believe God is holding out on you when you look into the eyes of the tortured Jesus hanging on the Cross for you. Remind yourself of His love and soon you won’t feel unloved because you are single. Wholeheartedly do this and I promise things will shift. What was the hardest part about writing this book? Time. The majority of this book came by inspiration, so was written rather quickly. However, the time to have others read it, edit it and then have it published was so hard. I was just so ready to have it available for the single-girl hearts who were crying out for answers. A different way. A better way. If you could share your best advice about trusting God to your younger self, what would it be? Know Him. I was caught up in religion and didn’t even know it. I was the look right, sound right, do right girl but was empty because I didn’t know God. I played the part of a good Christian girl, but it’s hard to trust someone you don’t really know. But once you know Him, and I know Him more every day, the more trust is built because I know His heart, His character, His voice. So know God through the indwelling Holy Spirit made available by Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. After writing this book, what is the best tip that you think you could give to aspiring authors? Save early and often. Get people to read it that you know will not just “yes” you and pat you on the back. It will never be perfect, but keep working on it until you feel a release that it’s done. When and how did you realize you were going to be an author? I realized I was going to be an author about two weeks into daily writing the thoughts that were flooding my mind every time I opened my computer. When I minister, it’s common that I hear my message as inspired thought and I’ve learned to lean into it and write it down. Well, type it because that’s a whole lot faster! It typically comes in the middle of the night or just as I am waking up. A good bit of this book was actually written in those moments when I was just transcribing the thoughts that were coming to me. Then with the help of a dear friend who didn’t just love it all, it developed and became the book it now is.
T H E G I V E A W A Y :
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T H E B O O K :
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