Trigger warning for mentions of trauma, abuse, rape, death, PTSD, and other similar triggers. I do not go into too much detail as I want for all kinds of people to be able to read this article. However, if you are worried about reading this post, it's better to stay on the safe side. I have plenty of other blog posts for you to read that do not include any triggers if you still want to read something!
Introduction
I recently discovered the term, "post-traumatic growth." As someone who has C-PTSD, I was surprised that I had never heard of the phrase. It has been recently discovered as the one positive symptom of PTSD. Of course, I use the word positive lightly because there's nothing positive about trauma. However, it is a nice light in the midst of the tunnel for those of us who have experienced trauma. To be able to understand what exactly post-traumatic growth is and why it is so important for all trauma survivors to know about, I first want to talk about what trauma and PTSD are.
Keep in mind I am not a medical professional and you should consult your GP or therapist if you think you need to talk about this. Please refrain from self-diagnosing or anything like that. This article is for individuals who have or know a loved one who has PTSD or another trauma-based disorder.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is defined as a mental state that's a result of severe, unprocessed mental or physical stress by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. There are two kinds of trauma broadly speaking, trauma with a "Big T" and "Little t" trauma. "Big T" trauma includes events like recurring abuse, serious motor vehicle wrecks, natural disasters, crime, war, and violence. "Little t" trauma includes events like everyday stressors, seeing divorce between loved ones, job loss, a big move–it's more of the emotional experience behind a seemingly "normal" occurrence. For some people, "little t" trauma isn't traumatic at all and for others, it has a monumental impact. This also doesn't mean that it can't have the same effects as "big T" trauma because trauma is all about how an individual doesn't process a life event.
The way someone responds to traumatic events is affected by genetics, environment, culture, previous life, experiences, and more. No matter what type of trauma, it is never the survivor's fault. Everyone responds to trauma differently. Something may seem unimportant to you, but complete change another person's entire life. This doesn't mean they aren't strong people; it just means they're sensitive to different things than you are. If you hate your job and get fired, you'd probably rejoice and celebrate. However, someone who is fired from their dream job over a trivial mistake is going to be upset and significantly impacted by this event. My point is that it is not anyone's place to judge how anyone is reacting to and handling a traumatic event.
What is PTSD?
When someone has experienced multiple or repeated traumas or a particularly major trauma, one may be diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Often times, we assume that people with PTSD have been to war but this is not always the case. People can develop PTSD from any of the above traumas. Common causes for PTSD include abuse, automotive wrecks, rape, the sudden death of a loved one, witnessing a violent crime, and natural disasters.
PTSD is defined as a disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event (NIMH). People who have PTSD may experience flashbacks, bad dreams, avoidance, angry outbursts, difficulty sleeping, being easily startled, feeling tense, loss of interest, memory problems (especially relating to the trauma), and more (NIMH). I just want to mention these symptoms so you get that it's not a pleasant disorder. On top of having experienced trauma, people with PTSD re-experience and live with their trauma every day (this is why trigger warnings like the one at the beginning of this post are so important since they can help prevent someone from accidentally having a flashback or other negative experience related to their trauma disorder).
Anyway, PTSD can easily be confused with other illnesses even though it is very unique in that all of its symptoms relate to the trauma that caused it. What I mean by this, is that PTSD is also commonly comorbid with other mental illnesses. Someone can be generally depressed or anxious and also depressed or anxious about a specific or similar event/s.
Even though PTSD can be a rather difficult-to-manage disorder, there is still plenty of hope. PTSD can be successfully treated through psychotherapy (CBT and exposure therapy), medication, art therapy, and more (personal experience and NIMH). It doesn't have to be a life long sentence, although it definitely feels like it at times. Also, what works for me may not work for you when it comes to treatment. Just keep an open mind.
What is post-traumatic growth?
Now, that we're all on the same page of trauma and PTSD, I can talk about the exciting part, post-traumatic growth. I do want to preface this with the fact that there are still disagreements about this concept. Today, I will be talking about what I've seen in myself and others with PTSD. Post-traumatic growth is defined as a life-changing positive psychological change in emotions and thought processes towards oneself and others as a result of trauma. This means that after someone has experienced trauma and is in the process of healthily recovering they may notice that they are emotionally and psychologically stronger than they used to be. For example, someone who hasn't experienced any kind of trauma may know that people aren't always kind or good from stories and friends, but they've never experienced someone wronging them in a way that is traumatic. Therefore, it would be hard for them to truly understand this concept of good and bad. Whereas, someone who has experienced devastating trauma (and is healthily recovering) knows for a fact that people aren't always good. They, now, also know that this doesn't mean people are always bad because of the people that have helped them recover. This allows them to be more prepared for bad things and good things to happen to them.
Post-traumatic growth can lead to five main changes. These changes are identifying different possibilities, perspectives, and opportunities, employing increased strength/resilience, having more meaningful or deeper relationships and connections to others, feeling a greater appreciation for things most people take for granted, and experiencing spiritual, psychological, or emotional development. These changes all meld into one fluid aspect of growth.
I'm trying to explain this in a way that's as easy to understand as possible. I'm thinking that it might make more sense to you–if my other two explanations didn't help–if I tell a story. Keep in mind that none of this story is based on factual information.
There's a girl who has experienced some sort of severe trauma. A few months later, she notices that she still feels like there are constant reminders of this trauma and begins having flashbacks and nightmares. She decides to see a doctor. After being diagnosed with PTSD, she feels a little lost on what to do next but pursues treatment anyways. Many years later, a traumatic event happens that's very similar to the original trauma. She manages to safely exit and uses healthy coping mechanisms to prevent flashbacks or nightmares. Looking back on the experience, she realizes that she has become stronger since the original trauma. She now views what happened to her years ago–and more recently–with forgiveness instead of anger. She sees that her outlook on her own life has changed from fearful and worried, to grateful. She's grateful for financial independence, carefree individuality, the ability to walk and breathe, and all of the other things so many of her old friends take for granted. Since the trauma, she's made other friends who've experienced similar trauma. They collectively chose recovery and to encourage each other along the way. She decides to tell these friends about what happened instead of isolating herself as she had originally done so many years before. Her experiences with PTSD have been immensely difficult and these new feelings and ideas do not invalidate those experiences. In fact, this only shows her how far she has come and how her choice to stick with recovery was the right choice. She now feels like her messy mind is not something that others would call messed up. Some days are harder than others but those days just remind her to keep on growing. Her hard days are indicative of failure; they're indicative of her future growth.
Like the girl in this story, it takes time for post-traumatic growth to become noticeable in a survivor of trauma. Four years ago, I remember telling someone a small chunk of my story. She would not stop telling me how strong I was. I didn't get it. Well, I couldn't get it. I just thought that this experience was a part of normal, everyday life. I didn't understand how surviving something so normal would make me strong. Now, I know that this was, in fact, the very opposite of normal. However, at the time I wasn't aware of that. She kept on saying how impressed she was with my strength and resilience and I shrugged it off. Only a couple of weeks ago, did I actually remember this. Now, it means the world to me that someone saw how strong I was for surviving. It means the world to me that because of post-traumatic growth, I am able to agree with her and tell the world that I am strong. I am stronger than I used to be and I couldn't be more grateful for that. I am not grateful for my trauma, don't get me wrong, but I am grateful that I am able to grow in new ways because of it instead of becoming a terrible or stagnant person because of it. Post-traumatic growth means that my biggest fear of becoming the people who have wronged me isn't possible.
If you've experienced trauma, I'd like to challenge you to write down a serious list of how you've changed for the better since the trauma. Put it somewhere you can see it every day and add to it when necessary. I promise it will help you remember the good outside of the messiness of recovery.
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